I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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