Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
