I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
