I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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