Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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