Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
