Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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