GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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