Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
