The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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