Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
