Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize