my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
