tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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