Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
we're making bets on your personal life
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.