i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
