Jerry, you need to find god
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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