Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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