So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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