After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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