you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We're too hungover to prance.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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