haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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