We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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