Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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