'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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