butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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