your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
