If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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