He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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