would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
