Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
