Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
