no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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