I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
