I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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