like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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