you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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