Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking