hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos