I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"