this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize