Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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