I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
