Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
