playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
