I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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