I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
