You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
