this beer tastes like vomit already
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
