theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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