I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
