craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
