let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
