She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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