yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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